ISOC Frequently Asked Questions

What do I get for my $4?
You're buying a high-resolution color JPG file of a Certificate of Curmudgeonry, with your personal name embedded in the file, suitable for framing. You can download this file, then print it to any printer that can access the file. You can print to your own, home computer. Or you can bring the file to a printing business (e.g., Office Max, Fed/Ex, Minute Man Press, etc.), and have them print it for you. The file is designed to be an 8 x 10" print, on a standard 8-1/2 x 11" piece of paper. The quality of paper you choose is up to you. The resolution is set to 250ppi, for good-quality printing results. Your certificate can also act as your computers' desktop background if you like.

Do you sell my email address and name?
No! This site is purely for fun, offering a way to hang a diploma on the wall that proves you really and truly are a grump! The only reason we collect your name (or whatever name you enter) is to give you the option of having your name listed in our Hall of Fame. The only reason we keep your email address is so that you can come back to the site at a later time and get a free reprint of your certificate (as many times as you choose). We're not affiliated with anyone, and never will release any list of email addresses.

Is this a Spam site?
Absolutely not! Other than 1 email thanking you for your purchase and providing you with a unique link back to our site for reprints, you'll never hear from us at all.

How do I know this is for real?
If you choose to buy one of our gag diplomas through PayPal®, you'll see that we're verified members, and you should also know that PayPal goes after frauds and fakes. When you make a payment, you do it on the PayPal site, protected on their fully encrypted system with the latest 128-bit encryption and security. A Google Checkout® merchant account is also verifired, working with actual banks and ID numbers, which also tend to make it difficult to scam people.

Can I use a Credit Card?
Yes. Google Checkout allows only credit/debit cards. PayPal allows the use of credit/debit cards, even if you have no account at all with PayPal. You don't have to be a member to use PayPal. When you buy a certificate and you're taken to the PayPal site, you will see instructions there as to how to make the payment (send money). Included in those instructions is the way by which you can use a regular credit card. Note that we do not accept eChecks. Google doesn't offer the option, and although PayPal does, we don't accept them.

Can I send cash, a money order or a check to make my payment?
No.

What about gold, silver, raw diamonds, emeralds or other jewels?
Maybe. Use the "Contact Us" and we'll see about it.

Do you keep or sell my personal information?
No! We have no way of knowing anything about you at all, other than what you enter into our form. If you enter a fake name, someone else's name, or anything else, that's what will print on your certificate. We have no knowledge of your personal information at all. That's between you and PayPal or Google when you make a payment. If you create a special email address only for the purpose of getting a certificate from this site, that's entirely up to you. If you spell the email address wrong, we have no way of knowing about it other than your "thank you" email won't arrive.

How Secure is this transaction?
Both PayPal and Google offer the highest-level secure transaction processing in ecommerce business. We do not do the processing. PayPal and Google handle it all on an automatic basis. All we do is provide you with the .JPG file upon completion of your payment. PayPal or Google sends us the "okay," and we provide you with the go-ahead for your personalized download.

What if I have a problem?
The only problem you might encounter would be in the download process. We do have a "Contact Us" form, where you can let us know if there's a problem with the file transfer. All other problems you'll have to handle yourself through a counselor, a medical professional, adult beverages or various pharmaceuticals. Meditation also helps, in some cases.

Is the Download safe?
This is purely and simply a JPG file. There is nothing embedded in the image, there is no executable code, and there are no scripts anywhere in anything you receive from us. If you use any type of standard firewall, it should allow you to download plain image files. The file is approximately 2.3MB in size, which is a normal file size for a graphic image.

Are you scamming me?
No. We offer a fun kind of "gag" gift. The diploma is the same as you see in both the Sample, and in the Preview of your own diploma. Everything else on the site is make-believe, geared toward the world of curmudgeons, grumps, grouches, and old farts. Your only direct interaction with the site is if you choose to buy your own certificate. Other than that, it's an informational and entertainment site.

What is "ISOC Certificate" or "ISOC"?
That's the International Society of Curmudgeons (ISOC) Certificate of Curmugdeonry. The total charge will be $4.00, which is non-refundable. There are no other, additional or hidden fees at all. We have no shipping charges because the certificate is a downloaded file. Whatever you want to spend on a frame or printing, that's entirely up to you. You did note the "non-refundable" part, right?

What if I need a Reprint or another copy?
After you purchase a certificate, you're then returned to our site. There, you can download your unique certificate with whatever name you entered into the registration form. If for whatever reason you need a reprint, you can always come to our site, choose the "Reprints" tab, and from there, find your name and download another copy of your certificate. You may download your certificate as many times as you'd like, simply by entering your name or searching on part of your name.

What if I have a question not listed on this FAQ?
You're kidding, right?