Terms of Use - ISOC
PRIVACY POLICY: This Web site is entirely and only for the purposes of entertainment and has no association or affiliation now or in the future with any commercial enterprise. Your name and other information is held for the single and sole purpose of providing you with the option to reprint your certificate at your convenience, and for the entertainment purpose of our list of curmudgeons. We do not ever intend to now or in the future use personal information for any purpose at all. You will not be contacted by this site excepting for your receipt of purchase. In other words, we have no ulterior motives at all, we're only offering a humorous certificate.
IMPORTANT: This Web site and domain (www.grumpy-people.com) is intended for entertainment purposes only, and may contain information that is unsuitable to overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor, a literal mind, or strongly-held religious beliefs. If you are or you are not a curmudgeon, or you have no known sense of humor, any dissemination, distribution, copying or use of this Web site is undertaken at your own risk (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes a personal choice solely and entirely your own responsibility.
Unless the word curmudgeonized or curmudgeonry has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal standing nor any grammatical function whatsoever, and may be entirely ignored. No animals were harmed in the development of this Web site, although the Belgian Griffon next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you! Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there are no hidden messages revealed by reading this warning backwards. However, by making a pentagram out of masking tape and pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can hope that no harm befalls you or your pets.
All suggestions, representations of warnings, suggestions of warnings, or imagined warnings associated with this domain name or Web site are entirely meaningless, and may not be used in any fashion whatsoever excepting through personal choice, foolishness, delusion, or hallucination on the part of the reader, viewer, user, or visitor.
Any promises, construed contracts, suggestions, ideas, thoughts, statements or communication herein, in any form, in any language, by any living or non-living or non-physical being, entity, alien, mineral, or vegetable are absolutely meaningless and have no basis whatsoever. In other words, nothing at all on this site is our responsibility at all. "ISOC" and "International Society of Curmudgeons" are entirely fictitious phrases, with no legal or moral standing at all. Should you find that as a result of your experience with this Web site that you find yourself believing that anything at all is true, speak with a mental health professional and seek help immediately.
By purchasing and/or downloading the graphic representation of a certificate of licensure herein known as a certificate of curmudgeonry, you are agreeing to nothing, and neither are we or anyone associated with this domain. The certificate is meant for entertainment purposes only, and provides nobody with any kind of legal authority, rights, or entitlements of any kind whatsoever at any time during the existence of space and time and the universe itself. We take no responsibility whatsoever for anything that has happened, is happening, or may happen to you as a result of even the slightest contact with this site, or thinking about this site, or hearing about it, or being in the presence of anyone or anything that's ever been associated in any possible way with this site or any association that might take place at any time, ever.
Using this site and any or all derivatives of this site in any way cannot, should not, and may not be construed as an association with anyone or anything named or hinted at, explicitly or implicitly, in any way, anywhere on the site or near the site, or even offline in relation to this site. If you can think of or imagine anything that might be remotely construed as having some resemblance to any responsibility on the part by anyone or anything associated with this domain name, Web site, or anything resulting from this domain name or Web site, we take no responsibility for that either.
If you find this text to be too small to read, does not fully explain our Terms of Use, or doesn't make sense in any way, shape or form, too bad. All legal mumbo jumbo stuff is like that, so deal with it. What part of "We aren't responsible for anything" don't you get?
